The past two weeks have been very intense weeks I should say. Probably the most two intense weeks of my life. My mother, whom I affectionately call ‘Mhama’, would probably disagree with that. “You’ve only been around for 20 years, you haven’t seen nothing yet!” I can already hear her saying. Nonetheless, at the end of these two weeks I realized just how important having my mother in my life has been and will always be.
She has to be the one constant person that has been in my life from the get go, and on days that she has not been there for whatever reason, her lessons have pulled me through. Not all lesson have been ‘serious’, some have been simple skills to get me through life. Whether small or big, I am more than grateful for her and her lessons because I know not everyone gets to grow up with their mother or have a mother figure in their life.
Lesson 1: Hard work pays off
If there is one thing that my mum has instilled within me, its is the value of working hard whenever you can in ALL you do. Be it the smallest of tasks such as cleaning your room or doing someone else a favor. Go above and beyond.e You may not get the rewards there and then, but soon enough you will. Even if you do not get in, everyone will want to be associated with you because they know you give everything 100%.
Lesson 2: Strive not be a dependent being
Now don’t get me wrong, my mum did not drill me not to accept help from others or not ask for it when I need it. She drilled me to be able to stand on my own two feet and not expect anyone to hand anything to me on a silver plate. This has been the driving force in my life so far, to be able to stand on my own two feet as my own person. You do not want to be THAT person that is always asking for something from everyone.
Lesson 3: Stay out of people’s business
If it does not involve you, stay out of it. Getting into unnecessary drama for God knows what reason is something my mum hates and I have caught on to this. You do not have to be friends with everyone, keyword being friends. I am not saying do not be polite or nice to everyone, just don’t meddle in their business.
Lesson 4: Be thankful
Saying “Thank you” has never cost anyone anything, but trust me it leaves an impression with people. My Mum has also taught be to be thankful for the privileges that we have. No matter what state you are in, there is always someone who is far worse off than you. So be thankful for the little things in life that others do not get to enjoy.
Lesson 5: Cry all you need, but do not get bitter
I remember my first real heart break. I was there in my room sobbing my eyes out and wailing like a three year old baby. I remember my Mum coming into my room and she just sat there with me and rocked me, but didn’t say a word. After I had calmed down she said to me “I am giving you a day to cry all you want, but after that I do not want to see you cry over this boy again. The last thing you want to become is bitter and carry this around with you. It will only eat you up, whilst his life goes on.” Be sad, be angry but never become bitter.
Lesson 6: Bargain hunting
This is one thing that I shall be great full for when I leave my mother’s house. My mother loves looking good, living good and eating good BUT, she wants to do so at a price she can afford. Any sales happening, my mum will know about them. Charity shop (second-hand) finds, she has an eye for them. Two for one offers, she will know about them. Vouchers, she has them. Whilst this saves her quite a bit at the end of every month, I love it because I get to spend quality time with her!
Lesson 6: Family first
‘Family over everything’. I saw this on my twitter feed a while back and it reminded me of my mother. As she says, family is all you have at the end of the day. Take care of family, be there for family, fight for family, spend time with family and most importantly, pray for family. My mother comes from a very big family that is generally loud. There is bound to be friction here and there, but at the end of the day they are family. They get into arguments, shout, get over it and apologize because at the end of the day you are family. Like the Shona (one of Zimbabwe’s spoken languages) saying goes “hukama haugezwe nesipo”, which loosely translates to “you cannot wash away relations with soap”.
Lesson 7: Take chances
Those who know me will probably tell you that I am not very adventurous. I am the type of person who will order the same food in every restaurant I go. I am never the first to volunteer to do something lest I mess it up. Thankfully, I have my mother to give me a nudge all the times. She was and is always there to support and believe in me. If it wasn’t for her I would have never being confident enough to try out many things. Be it piano recitals, voice exams, athletics trials, she always believed in me more than I believed in myself. Not only has she taught me to believe in myself, she has taught me to believe in others when they cannot believe in themselves.
Lesson 7: He is always there
I remember the day I went to collect my A’level results, I had failed dismally and I was a mess. But there my Mum was smiling! I was even mad at her for smiling thinking “Is she serious? My life is over and she is SMILING”. Now I know why she was smiling, she knew who was in control and trusted Him. It is funny now how it all worked out! If there is one thing that has gotten my Mum through so much it is her faith in God. No matter how bad situation get and how hopeless thing might seem, trust my Mum to have a verse or song for it! The number of times I have gotten out of an exam stressed only to get top marks after. Then my mother tells me, “I was fasting for you with your aunts”.. it never ceases to amaze me! She reminds me whenever she can that one is never alone and that God always has a plan. You might not see it or understand why, but trust that He does.