Have you ever heard something that bothered you for days? The first time you heard it, it sounded like a good thing but then it sat in your head and refused to leave. And the more you thought about it the more you realized it was not a good thing. Maybe it was something someone told you. At first it sounded like praise, a compliment even. But then you thought through it and you realized it was veiled in sarcasm. Or it was an insult well hidden under something sweet. It happens a lot when people are discussing women’s achievements. Like when I worked in IT and client’s treated me with suspicion, not quite sure I was the right person for the job. And when I was done and fixed whatever the problem was I would be told “you are so good at computer stuff for a girl.” See that? It sounds like a compliment when really it is not. That is the kind of thing I’m talking about. Something nice and sweet but with ugly undertones. Something like this happened to me recently. I have been writing about miscarriages and child loss for over two years now. In this [...]
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